Daria Kasatkina on a Love That Means Something
An interview with the newlywed about her big, bold Greek wedding to longtime girlfriend Natalia Zabiiako.
WASHINGTON — The post-Wimbledon wedding season was in full swing for tennis players this year, with Alex de Minaur marrying Katie Boulter, plus players pairing off with non-player partners like Tommy Paul (to Paige Lorenze) and Liudmila Samsonova (to her former coach Alessandro Dumitrache).
But the most intriguing wedding to me, by some distance, was that of one of the most unique couples in recent tour memory: Daria Kasatkina and her longtime girlfriend Natalia Zabiiako, a former figure skater. Their Greek seaside wedding earlier this month continued their remarkable and beautiful story of a love against the odds, flourishing in exile.
WTA players including Mirra Andreeva, Nadiia Kichenok, Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, Kamilla Rakhimova, Arina Rodionova, and Yuliia Starodubtseva all attended the intimate affair, a celebration of love and freedom that the tennis player-figure skater couple designed themselves.
The de Minaur-Boulter and Paul-Lorenze nuptials both already got the full Vogue treatments, but I was craving more details about Kasatkina’s moment and her vision, so we discussed them at length in our first Bounces interview this year (our previous one last year was on her defection from Russia to Australia).
After 61st-ranked Kasatkina won her final-round qualifying match at ATP-WTA 500 Washington on Sunday afternoon, she sat down for a lengthy chat with Bounces to share all the details of her wedding and what made it so special.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: You haven’t played that much qualies the last few years. What’s the mindset like, and does it feel like a different sort of pressure or tension when you’re in a qualies match?
Daria Kasatkina: Well, I already played qualies in Strasbourg this year; now here in Washington. Honestly, it’s actually feeling like a little bit less pressure, to be honest, because it’s less stakes, let’s say.
Plus, you can play more matches, which is good because the US swing is for me a little bit difficult: fast courts, balls are very fast. So for me, it’s a bit difficult to adjust to these conditions. So I think to play additional matches is actually pretty good.
Yeah, I mean, for me it’s easy: once you step on court, you have to give your best, and this is what I’m trying to do. Obviously sometimes, you’re waking up and you’re like, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore,’ you know? [Laughs.] But now, after a little bit of vacation, coming here, it’s tough, but at the same time a little hunger is there.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Where do you find your hunger? What keeps you going?
Daria Kasatkina: Um… good question. [Laughs.] Sometimes I cannot answer this question.
I think the most important for me is to step on court, start my wheels. And if I’m losing during the match, I feel how I’m getting anxious and angry, and I think that is one of the fuels for me. Then I just want to win—because I don’t wanna lose, obviously. There’s naturally some mechanism starting in my body, in my brain, and it just keeps going like that. I think this is how I was operating, more or less, during all of my career.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: The main topic today, of course: congratulations on your wedding.
Daria Kasatkina: Thank you.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: I want to know everything, basically.
Let’s just start with, actually, before it even started: how long had you known that you wanted to get married?
Daria Kasatkina: You mean before I proposed? Well, from the beginning. From the beginning when we started you know being together, I knew.
I mean in my speech during the wedding, I started with the sentence ‘I knew that this day is going to happen from Day One.’
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Awwww.
Daria Kasatkina: [Laughs.] Yeah.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: A love at first sight sort of thing?
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, definitely. Honestly, I didn’t believe in that, but it happened to me.
The whole wedding, I mean, I can talk about it for ages, honestly. Mentally, I’m still there.
We spent four days in Greece with the friends and family—it was the best four days, it was the best week, and then the best day, particularly: the wedding day.
It was the best moment of my life so far. I hope there’s going to be more ‘best days in my life,’ but so far, this is the best day of my life.
Mentally, I’m still there. And whenever I will feel sad or angry or whatever, I will mentally just go back to that day. Me and our friends, we’re still scrolling through the pictures, photos, videos. It was amazing, honestly.
Also the way everything was organized. The way the puzzle just [got put together] in terms of everything there. Energy-wise, the people, like how it all went: it was magical, honestly. It was so good. It’s tough to get back to reality after this, because it was just too good. It couldn’t be true.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: You’re still in the honeymoon fairytale period, hopefully.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, yeah—and in Washington. [Laughs.]
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Exactly, nice honeymoon city.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah—and then Cincinnati! [Laughs.] We’re having a strong honeymoon. [Fist pump.]
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: How did you decide to do it in Greece? How did that come to be the location?
Daria Kasatkina: Everyone is asking us this, because we’d never been to Greece before—it was the first time for both of us.
I guess we just saw the Pinterest pictures before, the photos, how beautiful it is. We really wanted to do it on the water—on the beach, basically. And you don’t have many places where you can do it. Plus, Greece was logistically the best spot for everyone to come. For my parents and friends from Russia, it was more or less convenient: they could get a visa, the travel time was acceptable. It’s just 45 minutes from Istanbul. For other friends around the world, it was fine as well. The weather was very good. Food—we’ve never been there. My mom loves Greece.
So we were like, OK, that’s probably the perfect spot: let’s do it there. And it was. It’s a beautiful spot. So we’re like, why not visit the country for the first time, and while we’re there, have a wedding?
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: I’m glad to hear your parents were able to come, because I remember talking to you—or you said a few years ago—that you hadn’t been able to see your dad, especially, for many years.
Daria Kasatkina: [Chuckles.] The funny thing: so my dad, he couldn’t come.
Because, funny thing—explaining the character of my dad: when he was applying for a visa, his passport was expiring in less than six months. [Laughs.]
This says a lot about my dad. But anyway, my mom could come. She had a very good time. She really loved it. I’m happy that everyone had a great time. The hotel was nice. I think the main ‘spice’ of the magic which happened there was that everyone was on vacation. Everyone was so chill. Whatever happened, everyone was having fun. Nothing could disturb us. It was great.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: I’ve been to a few various LGBT weddings, and it’s cool with them because I think there’s less sort of clear rules or tradition in some ways, right? You can kind of be more creative, and make it more personal in your own ways.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, we didn’t have any traditions, to be honest.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Yeah, so I’m curious for you: you get this kind of blank slate, this canvas to create whatever you want in this moment. So what did you see in that opportunity to do something that was really personal to the two of you and your relationship? And it’s for your family and friends and everyone, too, but you kind of get to make your own rules, which I think is cool.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah. First of all, we wanted to make it a party, so it was.
We didn’t have rules. So our emcee, she was asking like, ‘OK, what do you want me to do? What don’t you want me to do? Tell me the boundaries.’ We said: ‘No boundaries.’ The woman who was doing that, she was exceptional, we loved her.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: How did you find her?
Daria Kasatkina: Our wedding planners, they found her. We really trusted the people there. And on one of the calls she was like, ‘I’m so happy, girls, because this is going to be my first same-sex wedding, and I’m really looking forward to it.’ Like, she was so happy.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: She’s Russian?
Daria Kasatkina: Yes, but let’s… I don’t want to put her in trouble. Because she is a famous emcee, so I don’t want to make her any trouble.
Everyone in the team who was organizing and the team that was DJs and stuff, they were so into it. You could see that for them it’s not just another job—it’s something else.
So we told her: it’s going to be a party. You say whatever the fuck you want. Just don’t make fun of the parents! That’s the only rule. [Laughs.]
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Good rule, good rule.
Daria Kasatkina: Don’t make fun of parents—that’s it. You can say whatever. Any interactions, make fun of our friends, do whatever. And she stayed with us to party with us, after her shift was done.
Also, you know this tradition where you have to throw the [bouquet of] flowers? Where the one who girl catches it has to get married soon? So what we did: we were about to throw the flowers, and then we said ‘No, we’re not going to do it, because you are not going to compete for happiness. Each of you deserve it equally.’ So we just gave everyone a small flower from the [bouquet]. Because we really didn’t like the idea of this tradition, because honestly, I think that it’s stupid.
And I mean, all the wedding was about love, friendship, and just like, being free—wild and free. We were just having fun as much as we could, and I think that was magical. We didn’t want to make it a very classic, traditional wedding. We wanted to do the complete opposite to that.
Also, we had just our closest people there, only like just 40 people.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Only 40, wow.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, we made it very custom, let’s say. And yeah, that was the best thing ever.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: When you talk about being ‘free’ as a sort of a vibe for a wedding—and maybe it’s a big question—but what does that mean to you at this stage?
With everything you’ve gone through, having this sort of wedding that can be this expression of that value for you, what does that mean?
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, well, I would say we knew that we’re still going to get some hate, but our skin got so thick that we didn’t give a shit anymore. We could do whatever we want and we didn’t care about the outcome of some people being [unaccepting of] what we were doing. So we really didn’t think about it.
I think this is the best thing. I mean, I think this is what freedom is about: you can do whatever you want without thinking about what others will think. And that’s beautiful, honestly.
Also, what we didn’t want to do was to make the wedding secret. And I think, honestly, the outcome was so good. We really liked it.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: And it was really cool seeing people there. You can talk about people who don’t like it or whatever, but there were so many people who do love it who were there.
Daria Kasatkina: We got so much support, yes.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Obviously people who were actually there, all the people who came, but also everyone else. I saw a lot of people very excited, excited to see the photos, to see what you were wearing—both of you.
Daria Kasatkina: Another thing: we were wearing black; the guests were wearing white or beige. We swapped the other way around, actually. We weren’t wearing dresses.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: How did both of you decide your outfits? And did you not see them before, because you were wearing those blindfolds?
Daria Kasatkina: No—this was another thing. We could see through them a little bit. It was an idea from our planners.
So the initial idea of that was we’d [enter] from different sides, with a voice saying that they didn’t know [they’d find each other]. OK—the idea was that you’re going in your life without knowing where you’re going. So you are kind of blind: you go without instructions. And so the idea was that we would come up from the two different angles, and we would meet each other in one point, being blind.
Yeah, but unfortunately, technically, we couldn’t do it because there wasn’t enough space. [Laughs.] Yeah, so we went together, which meant: we are going without instructions through our lives, but we go together.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: That’s beautiful, that’s great.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, so we did it that way. And our whole wedding, also, the name of the wedding was ‘What’s the Love?’ Like the vlog, ‘What the Vlog.’
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: That was very cool.
How did you decide what to wear?
Daria Kasatkina: Well, for me, it was obvious. Because I wanted to wear black, and I wanted to wear a suit—but I didn’t want to wear it like a traditional way, with a tie, being fixed. [Buttoning gesture]
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: All the way buttoned up, yeah.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, I didn’t want to do that. So I really like the idea being like more loosened-up. It was pretty easy, honestly.
And Natasha’s idea: she wanted this bodysuit, and her mom actually made it for her. I think she also did all the outfits for the family. Yeah, she loves doing that. I think she used to [do that for] work.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Did she make her figure skating outfits, too, maybe?
Daria Kasatkina: As well! Yeah, when she was a kid, yes. As an adult, no, but when she was a kid she was making the outfits for her.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Yeah, that’s a big part of figure skating, for sure.
What comes next for you two? Obviously now there’s, like you said, Cincinnati.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, Cincinnati. Woo!
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: And the rest of the tour; you now are both back together on this carousel. But again, what are your next hopes? Obviously, I’m sure the wedding was a big date you’d circled for a long time, and all the preparation for that and everything. But now that you have the rest of your lives in front of you, what do you want to do together next in your journey?
Daria Kasatkina: Phooof.
You know, what I like about us is that we are obviously together, but we are two individuals as well. We’ve got our things, you know? I’ve got my career. Natasha, I’m so happy for her that she found her thing. She’s now doing her shows. She just wrote a book.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Oh, what kind of book?
Daria Kasatkina: Novel. The name of the book is ‘The Taste of Her Lips.’ Guess what it is about. [Laughs.]
Yes, so you can now buy it. You can buy it digital, and soon you can also buy it physical—but not yet.
And yeah, I’m really proud of her. She’s so talented. I mean, she’s got so much potential which she’s finally able to show.
And yeah, she’s doing the figure skating show, which she is participating in and also being a big part of the organization stuff. She’s now starting to write another book as well. Yeah, she is doing a lot of things.
So I think for the moment we are together, doing our own things, you know, which is super cool. She’s supporting me on tour, still traveling a lot.
I’m going to do as much as I can supporting her. I also want to be there when she is in action, which, with my calendar, is fucking tough. But I will try to do my best to make it possible.
So, yeah, I’m seeing her finally finding her thing outside of the [figure skating] career. Because it’s for every athlete, I think it’s very tough to find yourself after you retire. And I see, finally, her fire getting back in her eyes. So it’s very important for me, and I really want to help her find her potential as much as she could.
And me, I will continue playing tennis. [Laughs.] Let’s see for how many years more. But yeah, so far, we’re a hard-working couple.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: The last time I wrote about you was when you switched to Australia. I guess I was talking to you in Charleston last year.
I’m curious how that’s gone for you, that transition, now catching up on it a little more than a year later.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, I think I’m finally mentally settling down. Because I was trying to play cool, but [laughs] I wasn’t very cool. To be honest, it was difficult. The transition was tough. I was trying not to show it, but I was struggling. Not ‘struggling,’ but I had to change a lot of things.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: What was difficult about it?
Daria Kasatkina: New people. It’s difficult to get into a new environment, to know everyone. Now I’m good with the whole TA team [Tennis Australia], and I feel way better thanks to them as well—they’re amazing people.
Still, you cannot just feel comfortable like this [snaps], you know, changing a huge part of yourself. You need time to adjust. And even if nothing is changed, there’s something which changed in you. I was processing this for about a year, and I’m finally feeling that I’m finding peace, you know.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: It feels like you’re at home, now, in this.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, at home, and I’m more calm mentally. I feel like I am.
Not talking about even on court, but outside of the court—I can relax my brain, you know? I just feel that I’ve settled down, you know? Even if not everything is settled down, mentally I feel that if I need to relax, I can relax.
The whole year before, I didn’t have this feeling at all. I felt like a hamster in the wheel, all the time. And now, finally, I know better how to manage my time off court. Maybe I actually don’t have to invest as much in tennis, but [instead] maybe the life of the outside of the tennis court, which is, at the end, more important.
I know that tennis is a huge part of our lives—and mine as well. And I sacrificed—fuck, I sacrificed so much for tennis. Sometimes, I have to actually also sacrifice tennis for another very important thing in my life.
As I said to everyone at the wedding: this whole thing, the whole trip, is my huge apologies to my family and friends for not being enough in their lives. Yeah, that is my payoff. [Laughs.] Because I understand that I gave everything [to tennis], and it was very egoistic. Because everything I was doing was for myself, you know?
I feel like, fuck, I missed so many things. I missed everything. You know how players go home for Christmas? For us in Russia, New Year’s is actually the big celebration. Which is always when we are already starting in Australia. I didn’t have the opportunity to be there for the New Year’s. I’m not even talking about birthdays, weddings, kids—whatever. I was never there. So I appreciate my friends, but… [laughs].
I’m trying to fix it. They never told me that, but I know what they think sometimes.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: But it must feel good to have that moment, this wedding, to have everyone in one place at one time.
Daria Kasatkina: I’m trying to show them that—
[Kamilla Rakhimova enters stage right and hugs Kasatkina from behind.]
Daria Kasatkina: She was one of the friends there.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: Oh, you were at the wedding!
Kamilla Rakhimova: Yes, I was at the wedding.
Daria Kasatkina: How was the wedding? Did you like it?
Kamilla Rakhimova: It was lit.
Daria Kasatkina: [Cackles.]
Kamilla Rakhimova: It was super fun. We were so happy for the girls, you know?
Daria Kasatkina: And we were so sad leaving.
Kamilla Rakhimova: I was crying. Three times.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know we had like a roller coaster: crying, laughing so much. Crying, laughing our asses off. It was so good.
Ben Rothenberg, Bounces: That’s what weddings should be, though.
Daria Kasatkina: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very emotional.
Thanks for reading Bounces! Share this with someone you love who loves tennis! -Ben
One of the bravest tennis players in the world. I love her.
This is exactly why I subscribe to you, Ben. Reading this made me tear up a bit. Thank you for asking Dasha these questions, and I so appreciate her answering them with such honesty! I can't wait to watch her play here in DC.